Wow! It’s already 31st December, the last day of the year. Time has flown quickly, for sure! 2015 has been great for me, a strange mixture of good and bad, happy and unhappy, mostly fun though! All in all, it’s been a great year compared to the ones before it.
The biggest change came in a new school environment. Poly life was both terrifying and liberating, I went in to orientation without a friendly face around as most of my friends had gone to JC or NP and I didn’t have any old friends with me in my new faculty.
Perhaps it was a good thing, it allowed me to see who were really my friends, people who really rooted for me and those who weren’t. Toxic, unhappy people who did their best to make me feel small and downplay my achievements, people who hung around me only because nobody wanted to deal with their difficult personality.
Thankfully, I’ve met great people in SP. Soon, CASS changed from a scary, scary place that I didn’t know anything about to one where the people were open, friendly so true to themselves, it made me feel… Welcome.
My new classmates and schoolmates were SUPER FRIENDLY, interesting, quirky, always there for you. I met friends who entertained me by being on the same wavelength, being as crazy/weird as I was, liking me for who I was and helping me get over who I wasn’t. Dealing with all my idiosyncrasies… I didn’t think it was possible to meet a group that would click that much with me – but I did.
Creative Writing was a good choice for me, I love every single module (except Video Production such a burden but I still like Mr Cheetz sigh). However, sometimes I do have insecurities. I wonder if I chose the right course, sure I might like it, but am I talented enough to survive? Would I have done better in a Junior College? My GPA of (eh secret) somewhere between 3.5 – 3.9. I’m really scared of not making it a local university but I guess I won’t know if I don’t try, right?
I put these insecurities aside knowing that this course makes me happy because I’m doing what I love, making very close friends, meeting nice lecturers who are so encouraging and of course, the food in SP and the fact that school starts at 2 hehehe. For once, I’m getting grades that I really am satisfied with and doing my best for projects and papers.
It’s also been a thrilling year for me, working for inwardBOUND and with the Film crew – making real things. Keeping track of a gazillion clothes and bossing people around haha.
I learnt things about myself – I like rompers because I don’t have to choose TWO pieces of clothing and I don’t have to watch my skirt like in dresses. I sleep A LOT when I’m sad, stressed or angry. I tend to overthink and spend more time wallowing in overthinking than action (like now HAHA!) and more.
I learnt to deal with rejection – lots of it. Failed job interviews, failed scholarship applications, failed CCA interviews. Many of my friends had gone on to be scholars, CCA Presidents or EXCO members and I was still… me. A friend told me “If you keep basing your own self-worth off everyone else, you’re never going to be happy. There’s always someone better.” I guess it seems a little ridiculous on hindsight that I didn’t think about it that way.
It was also a year of self-discovery. What kind of girl was I? What kind of person did I want to be? Who was I going to be in the future? How far could I go? What do I want to do in the future? Many of these questions still don’t have answers but I’m exploring and thinking as I go along and that’s okay.
As 2015 draws to a close and I learn to put the past behind me, to forgive myself for mistakes and to look forward to the future. Thank you so much to the amazing people who made this year an amazing one, for helping me throughout this year. I’ve been blessed with a loving family, caring friends and kind classmates who’ve helped me to become a better person. 2015 was a great year and I’m sure 2016 is going to be a better one! 🙂
(I’m ending this post here to go and watch Celebrate 2016.)
This is Teri speaking... 